The Child Will Decide

I reminded him of his visit
A change in his routine
Christmas Eve and Saturday
He looked straight ahead
Declared
"I don't want to go"
I held him tight
Reminded I loved him
Reassured him that
Could tell me anything
"Go and just be you. 
Always remember love.
It's what we do"
He nodded
Held me tighter
Whispered
"I love you"

*We sat and continued watching the rest of King Kong.  I sat & pondered his words.  The first time my 3 yr old Tot has voiced his refusal to see his dad.  His dad pulled into the driveway, Tot put on his coat..stomped in the direction of the door and muttered "Again? I have to see him again?"  By the time he actually reached the door, he made his decision. He turned to me "I'll be strong. Like King Kong."  I had hoped there would be more of a bond, but there clearly is not.  My child knows how to make his own decisions.  I proudly instill this in him.  I'm getting a picture of what the future entails and I tell you right now, I'm not worried.  Not nearly as much as I expected to be.  He will decide when he absolutely no longer wants to go.  I won't push his decision.  I know this all sounds weird.  I just know my child.  He's so much like me.  He needs time to think about everything.  A bit of an introvert.  Push the introverted child or person and everything falls amuck.  He knows and trusts that he can tell me everything.  More importantly, it's what he doesn't talk about that is more telling.  And that's when I fill him with more reassurance.  As I've mentioned in earlier blog posts, nothing abusive is happening during the visits.  It's just a bond that is not being filled.  My Tot knows it.  It's as if he goes now because it's his duty.  While I wait and watch the clock to strike 6:30.