Perfect Survivor

Golden girl
Got away
She's got a
Brand new day
Everything's going
Her way
It's all gonna be easy
Bury deep the sleazy

That's what everyone thinks
In their perfect
Think tanks

Why do you cry
Silly golden girl
The day is shining
Handed to you now
Top of the world
Everything's all right
It's all
All right

Oh, you know
That's what everyone thinks
You know
You know
More than I know

Perfect survivor
Passion thriver
Why do you cry?
Why do you scream?
Why do you push?
Why do you shove?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Incessant questions
So
When will you be
Ready for love?
Will you ever be ready?
For the true and steady?
Will you?
Will you?
Will you?

You know
That's what's everyone
Says
Hugging you
Saying
God bless
Sending you on your way
Never listening to your
Quiet answer
On some cold, rainy day

Perfect survivor
Don't you worry
There ain't no hurry
There's no magic wand
You're all ready
Doing the
Kind and steady
The kind and true
Living the life
With no other rule
But you
Pound that chest
Scream in the night
You have the right

There are no rules
It's all about you

Recant Chant

Reverb proverb
Counting syllables
Metered lines
Measured words
Golden girl
Perfectly
Perfect words
Oh, but sometimes
My mouth steps
Ahead of my mind
Leaving every
Thought behind

Recant chant
Cleaning up
Won't make the stain
Go away
Whining about
Being alone
Like a
Plugged in drone
Point out my mistakes
I'll pull you through the rakes

Recant chant
Can't
No it can't
Take it away
Once it's spoken
Words not thought out
Can leave a heart stabbed
Bleeding and broken

So I'll do my damnedest
To bury my shitty epitaphs
But as you can plainly see
I've got my work
Cut out for me

Have You Ever?

Have you ever
  wanted to
    curl up in a ball?
Cry the tears
  just waiting to fall.

In the middle of
  your crying
    have you ever
      felt the sun
        smiling slyly?

Have you ever?
Been emotionally wrought?
Where every thought
  is at war
    all the more?

Counting the blessings
Counting the pain
Feeling the warmth
Feeling the strain

So I give in
Let the emotions win
Release the reigns
Letting go

I feel better now
I feel better now
I feel better now

You

I screamed
Every epitaph
Who are you
To claim to know me
 Coming in like the wind
Understanding
My every thought
Bending down with me
When I was wrought

Push
Shove

I don't know love

Push
Shove
You
The warm glove

Stomping away
You
Refusing to follow
Graceful waiting
Tears
Like knives
You
Always ready with the salve

Numb
You
Waiting for the second half
Wrapping  me
Sitting with me
Knowing all the pieces
Had to fall
Knowing I'd see
Your graceful all
You

Repercussion

I expect the repercussion
With no gentle confession
Every action
I'm waiting for you
To see an infraction
This is how I was taught
Nothing saved
Nothing bought
Emotions like cheap trinkets
Taken away right when
I start to enjoy
The pretty bauble
Repercussion
Procession
Funeral parade
In my happy town heart
Take me apart.

Something to Say

I know you're getting tired of hearing it
But I got
But I got
But I got
Something to say

Wrecking Ball

I think you should know
My mind's a wrecking ball
Line it all up in a row
I wreck it all
Wreck it before you leave me
Before you really see me
My fear tends to grab me
It lashes out
First my mouth
Then my mind
I should pout
But I don't
I shout
Go, go, go
NO!
no
no
no
Do you have a
Strong heart
Can you stay?
Or will you go?
Leave me to my
Wrecking ball
Not even wait
For my fall?

Gasoline Stories

No it's not overnight
The healing
Flashbacks
Echoing words

The further you go
The more the frustrate

So grab that gasoline can
Don't wait

Light 'em up, my dear
Burn the brandishing
Damning thoughts
Turpentine
Gasoline
Circle
Flaming blue-white bright
Rid yourself the toxin
Within

Smoldering ashes of your
Ugliest self
Now fertilize the
Flowering thought
Happy Poppy
Top shelf

Untitled Mindless Chatter

Ignore the last couple of poems.  I'm venting.  And you know what?  I feel good!  No I'm not broken.  No I'm not normal.  I'm me.  Finally! 

Testing the Water

I needed to test myself
Take myself off the dusty shelf
To see
Could I recognize the
Cold reality
Loveless love disguised
In warm messages
Certainly I know
I'm a weirdo
But hot damn man
You take the cake
The crumbs lingering
On your unshaved face

Blocking the Call

Thank God for my iPhone
Allowing me the extreme pleasure
My greatest treasure
Blocking the call
Of another roving rogue
Thinking he knows me
Pretending to see
Call it passive aggressive
I don't give a damn
In my mind
It's loud & clear
Blind eyes
Are not allowed to peer
Finger flaming
Hitting the block
To another
Useless strutting cock
A rooster without a hen
By God
I feel lovely again

Dumb Conversation

Tick-tack
Paddy-whack
Step on the crack
Break your mama's back

I'm shutting the door
To this dumb conversation
I find no elation
When you seek
No knowledge
You have no common sense
You never even went to college

Waste not
Want not
Holding my tongue
Get on back
To your
Hot to trot
Don't ask me
Stupid questions
You know I'm not

Protest Contest

They gather now
Competing to tell
Their tale
Some wanting their
Story to sound gory
Requiring
Actual proof
While some stand aloof
Wondering at the haunting words
They remember
The bruise some words
Leave on a soul
How they take a toll
By all means
Raise the banner high
Just remember
Abuse has many faces
Leaving traces
Let us not make this a contest
As we stand proud
In this endless protest

All it Takes

It just takes one
To look into kind eyes
Of a man that isn't looking
To blight out your light
You'll remember
How you were
Long before you
Cried endlessly
Through the night

All it takes is one
A man fearlessly
Seeing all your
Shattered pieces
As a beautiful menagerie
To know
There are many more angels
Than you ever imagined
One of those angels
Resting the beating of his wings
To stand by your side
You
Forgetting you even cried

It Took a While

It took a while
To recognize normal
To uphold and see it
Granting it no other choice
Accepting its truth
No longer asking
"What's it like?"
Now I know
There's no other
Way to go

Darling Princess

Go to bed, darling princess
Put the day to rest
Stay and give it your all
Maybe he'll be in a better mood
Tomorrow
There's always tomorrow
Lined up
In the fading bruises
On your pretty, little face
Defend him endlessly
With all your humility
And good grace
Sephora is the best make up
You can paint the mask
Go about your daily task
Breathe a sigh of relief
Until his shadow
Darkens your hall
Beginning again
The grief

Oh, but don't think of that now
Go to bed, darling princess
Put the day to rest
Keep thinking of yourself
As less
Keep thinking you can
Change him
Hurry
Lights dim
The monster's sleeping
With you again

Hail Mary Pass

Throw your hands up
He's speaking again
Sending a
Hail Mary pass
Words coming out
Blunted and crass
Speaking like he
Knows what it's like
Maybe he should sit down with
Tina Turner &
Ike
How many punches
Does it take?
Delay the release
The video will have
No crease
He knocked her out
In one easy blow
Kick him out
Suspend the throw
Others rise up
Dirty, little jock cup
Protect his ball
Give it your all
NFL season is here
The tickets are now dirty
Silencing a feeble cheer

Hum-Dinger

She's a real hum-dinger
Off-key
Karaoke singer
Making up the lines
As she goes
Try to see along
It's fun
When you both
Get it so completely wrong
Laugh at the bass player
Shaking his timber head
Stifling a smile
An audience astounded
Full of dread
But laughing
Just the same

2am

Tonight better be
A better night
Last night I was twisting
Turning
2am churning

Other half of my soul
Had the very same
Toiling, tangling sheet roll

2am
Thoughts we keep at bay
During the day
Come unhindered
In twilight
Under the crescent moon
Smiling
That knowing smile

2am is the hour
Free reign
Demon devour
In the soul that's
Fit to be tied
Asking the question
Why haven't we tried?

Back of the Cage

The door's open
Crouched and waiting
For the token
Growling silently
Smiling politely
Save you from my ire
My flame and fire
A moth to a flame
Oh, how I know
So I crouch down
Real, real low
Try to disappear
Within the thin spindles
Lining my cage
Holding onto the
High-priced wage
Stepping out
Letting it out
My shout
As I finally
Step gingerly
Into sunlight
Finally
Give up the fight

Here I Go, Go

Sitting sipping
Some chill draft
Feeling daft
Maybe that's not
The right word
But it sure as hell denotes
This tired feeling
Of spilling out the
Story again
Saying sorry again
Sorry
Sorry
Sorry
Shaking my head
To scatter the scream
I'm sure as hell not sorry
But here I go, go
You wanna know, know

You laugh it all off
A healthy cough
And I sit and finally stare
At you
Good God
You're weird,  too
It's now my turn to laugh
As we sit
Sipping our chill draft
Shaking out all the unironed seams
Feeling daft
Here I go, go

Self Sabotage

Self sabotage
Beguiling
Smiling
Camouflage

Learned reaction
Self retraction
Screaming imperfection
Blurred reflection

Stepping
     Stepping
          Stepping
                     Out
                Out
          Out

A cliff
No way
For me see
The bottom
My solid ground
Feet dangling
Over the edge
I have to jump

To stay in this
Dire satire
I call life
Could only cause
More strife

Free fall into nothing
Letting the mask
Fall
I have nothing to give
Yet
I give my all

A leap of faith
Blind trust

Closing my eyes
Letting the weightless particles
Rearrange themselves
Wherever they must

Static Electricity

Crackling
   Energy
      Synergy

Sitting in stillness
Releasing the tethered ends
Gone the grip
Broken stitch
      Past
          Evaporating
Distant thunder
   of my future
      heard on the horizon.

Nemesis Emesis

Grab my basin
Nausea's setting in
Sickening sick
Too tired the wound
To lick

Curl up on the floor
Slam your own door

Into the pillow
My worries must seep
REM
Helpless dreams
Where I now weep

Let it go
Let it go
I know
I know
Go
Go
Go

Past 1 am again
The demons
Creep in

Shut it off
Shut it down
He's just another clown
With a ragged face
Tired
Broken down

Nemesis emesis
Oh, how I tire of you
Don't you know?
I have much better things
To do.