Monday, I went to my county courthouse to file a motion for the state to further investigate my ex-husband's employment situation. It's getting harder and harder after having no child support for over a year. The process was fairly mindless and extremely easy. I worried about a court filing fee, but the attendant assured me there will be none. Five minutes later, and I was ready to leave. The process was that fast. The attendant handed me two copies and said I needed to give my ex the other copy. The statement didn't register. "Give my ex the other copy? As in, you're going to mail him a copy, right?" "No ma'am. You have to personally deliver the copy."
My mind reeled. I walked out with both copies. My case is not unique. My ex is abusive. I filed a restraining order 6 years ago and now that order has lapsed in order for him to visit his son legally and without consequences, unless physical and emotional abuse can be proven. None has been noted, so the visits have gone on without any real difficulties.
This situation has ramifications that strike fear in my heart. Handing him a copy of my request for a child support investigation. A person that has worked extremely hard at covering his tracks in order to avoid paying out child support. A person that knows if he fills out an application, it stalls the state from making automatic child support payment withdraws from a checking, savings, or any other financial institution - because it's showing he's "trying." Never mind that this has gone on for over a year. The state is well aware of his history, both in the employment realm and as an abuser.
My request for the investigation will go on and I have come up with my own solution as a result of fearing for my safety. A solution that I will not highlight here. A judge will be assigned the case and every aspect of my ex-husband's employed whereabouts will be delved into. Not that they haven't already - this is more extensive and with more finite detail. Out of the 500 cases the state deals with on a daily basis, the court order will take my case out and give it more time for special review. It will come directly from the judge, not myself. This is extremely important when considering I have an abusive ex-husband that would like every excuse in the world to blame me for his abuse.
It's hard to put into words how I feel right now. People reading this that are not abuse survivors won't understand the brevity of this situation. The state was willing to put me in harm's way by asking me hand deliver a court copy of my request.
I often wonder when I will truly be free. As of now, I am only 2 steps ahead of the monster. That isn't nearly enough.
