Saturday, November 14, 2015

What the Hell Do I know?

What the hell do I know? Simple. More than you think.

I was recently called out after a reader read my last article on VoElla.  This person claimed I know nothing about domestic violence and that I throw out more hurtful labels and statistics only to impress or garner more followers.  Wrong.  I am a survivor of domestic violence.  I will not ever justify or explain myself to anyone who points their stubby finger in my direction. 

The labels I highlight in my domestic violence column in VoElla.com are meant to shock and dismay every reader.  They are derogatory terms that have been thrown my way from people that have called themselves my friend and from my own family members.  They are the worst things that anyone could ever imagine.  No.  No one likes hearing "slut", "bitch", "cunt", "whore", or any other derogatory term meant to tear down and demean.  I use these terms in my articles as a way to educate all readers.  Taken out of context, I suppose the low self esteem souls of society could say that I am throwing them around and being heartless.  Read the articles I have written and then judge me. 

I've had a few claim that I do not focus on male victims of domestic violence.  To some extent, that is true.  The statistics out now for male victims domestic violence are rather distraught.  There is no clear statistic of the real number of male victims because they are the most silent.  Children of abuse are more willing to speak up before a male victim will tell his story.  That's just how ugly this disease of abuse and violence is.  I plan to change that and write about it - but not before I gather all my research. 

Do not say I don't know how the rape victim or the child molestation victim feels because I DO.  I was raped during my abusive marriage but society still wants to throw that notion under the rug because we all know spousal rape does not exist (sarcastic undertone).  As for child molestation, I will write about my own experience when I damn well feel like it.  I've touched on the subject and as I gain my confidence, I'm sure I'll delve deeper into that very dark family subject.  One negative reader will not force me to prove just how much of a survivor I really am.  One negative reader will not force me to appease only them and forgo my own better judgment. 

I don't know the exact statistics of domestic violence victims in the U.K. No.  And I don't know the legal system in the U.K.  You're right about that.  Here's what I do know.  There is a massive injustice to female victims of domestic violence around the world.  I could throw out numbers.  That might impress someone.  I do that sparingly.  The statistics I use continually are blanketed for not just the U.S. but every nation.  1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men.  Victims of domestic violence.  Go write that down if you need to.  Meanwhile, I am going to work on my next article for VoElla.  I'm late in submitting it because - guess what - I'm still in a hail storm in my real life. 

No one has the right to judge the silent survivor.  Let me make that perfectly clear.  Not everyone feels comfortable with writing or talking about their abuse experience.  They heal in different ways and we should all respect that.  Please remember that the next time someone loses their cool or acts odd or acts out of turn to their normal character.  Perhaps they're redefining their normal character and perhaps their mad as hell that they have to fight like hell to find themselves while the abusers walk around with their cocksure smiles as if nothing is wrong. 


Friday, November 6, 2015

No Brother, Mine

Such rage
yet he couldn't keep
eye contact

Shifty eyes
looking for all the
excuses for what
he was saying
more
excusable

And the people
who claim to love me
just sat with
vacant
passive
stares

When I said
"You are not my brother"
I reiterated
Again
So he would hear
because he's deaf in one ear

Numb
when the shallow apology came
His back was turned
Another bridge burned