The Strangest Dream

I was walking in the moonlit night.  Escaping something and making damn good progress from what I could tell.  In the dream, I was highly impressed with myself.  My feet were bare but I did not feel the dry earth underneath. 

I came to a set of train tracks high atop a cliff.  The rails were splintered and broken.  I couldn't turn around and go back; there was nothing to return to.  Nothing worth mentioning, anyway.  My foot gingerly stepped on one of the rails and I stepped forward.  I could see the broken places as I continued on.  The river below me raging.  My heart racing.  I came to a spot I had to jump.  A leap that could go either way; success or death.  One deep breath and a quick jump.  I made it.  My feet landed with a thud and I continued on my journey.  I could hear voices ahead. An older couple standing and watching me; cheering my progress.

I came to a pier stretching out across a massive lake. In the night that stretched out before me, it looked black and ominous.  The older couple was standing on it, beckoning me forward.  My feet moved of their volition.  I stopped in the middle of the pier and sat down - refusing to go any further. 

"I hate murky water. Water where I can't see the bottom,"

The old man laughed and sat down beside me, "Why?  You've swam deeper, murkier water than this."

I looked out across the water; my eyes adjusting and finally seeing the faint tree line on the other shore.  I was waiting for the older couple to leave but he continued to sit beside me and the elderly female hovered protectively behind me.  I huffed stubbornly and crossed my arms.  I'd wait them out & then take my leave.  This was too much.  I was nearly to the end of the pier; there was nowhere left to go but back from whence I came.  Just then the moon came out of its veil of clouds.  A soft glow of amber surrounding its fullness.  The old man took my hand and we stood. 

I was so in awe of the beauty.  It was then I saw the curve in the pier.  The end was not the end.  The old man looked at me and smiled and simply said "See?"  My feet took their steps forward.  Fear no longer guiding me.

It was the strangest dream...

Trigger Warning

It happens in the blink of the eye
So I run
Without saying goodbye
Hard talk
'bout feelings
lined up on the floor
in chalk
The trigger hits
& I can't stand the pain
Numb ache
To a blasting migraine
I can't always discuss
the narcissist

So I steal myself away
Lining up my boundaries
Brick-by-brick
Dried mud and stone
I make that wall thick

Letter to My Heart

Remember that day you thought you'd never survive? Look at you now.  Beating and strumming and drumming.  A song made only for you.  My God you're tough, but it's ok.  You can beat nice, steady, and slow.  It's ok to be soft and sensitive.  It's ok to let it show.  My sensitive, little cordiform jewel box.  Never mind the ones who choose to throw rocks.  Ignore those that ignore.  Just keeping beating.  Nice and easy.  Steady and strong.  Cry, but don't forget to sing your song.  Dear heart of hearts.  Don't you know?  Nothing is the end unless you choose so.  So keep on beating.  Stop all that worrying because it's precious time you're cheating.  Love? It will come soon enough.  Right now, let all the chambers fill.  Know that I will always love you.  Still. 

Glass Heart - Velvet Skin

No longer ducking my head
when I tell a lovely boy
my story
Now I raise my chin in defiance
letting it spill with all its glory
Most turn and run
running from the rambling
six-shooting gun
too afraid to hear the next thing
that might slip outta this
running mouth

Glass heart
Velvet skin
Tired eyes
Wry smile
As I tell of the sin

Let it Roll

Not everyone's gonna wanna hear it
Not everyone's gonna wanna cheer it
Rolled down windows
& I'm driving along my long country road
I'm unloading my heavy load
Shrugging off the misunderstandings
Never minding the shallow ramblings
A pocket full of friends who know how to show
I keep them close
They ask me how I am
I drop my line or two
Make 'em smile

Turning up the radio
Blue-grass playing
Strumming banjo
I'll tell you my story
After a hug
& a genuine
"Hello"