Conversation With God

It was after my new, perfect infant son was fast asleep.
After the rumblings of our point of refuge had settled.
More importantly, after the screaming voices still echoing
in my head, had finally silenced.
I sat - feeling lost in my blank slate soul.
Full moon glow bathing the room in comforting black & white.

He just sat with me;
allowing me to gather my thoughts.

"I can't cry anymore. It hurts.  It hurts too much,"
as tears rushed like a river in search of its ocean.

Silence.

"Why?" I screamed over & over to Him.
At Him.
And He let me.

Silence.

The shadows holding their secrets.
I
staring into the abyss.

"Where do I go? I'm lost."

"You're not lost.  You're Here."

"How do I fix this?  How do I even begin?"

"You're in the Palm of My Hand.  I'll carry you."

Calm rushed over me; warming me.
I no longer felt cold on that hot summer night.
And so a Pact was made - much stronger than
those in the past.
I bowed my head; letting His Truth in.

"I put it all in your Hands, God -
my journey, my future, my son
my life."

I felt His angels wrap me in
a comfortable slumber; their wings
gently guiding my form to its
precious needed sleep.
Before I closed my eyes, the room
began to sparkle.  A whispered rush
filling me.
Sleep
Finding me.

His whisper echoing in my soul

"Now you will begin."