Four Years in the Wandering

It took me this long
To look at myself in the mirror
To see the girl
The woman
I've become
Though it wasn't all fun
I'm beginning to see the sun
Four years in the wandering
All the crawling
Soul squandering
I hated it
I loved it
I despised it
I relished it
I turned away as long as I could
Now I see
While the looking is good
One last look
Before I turned the page
In my book

I practiced the forced smile
On a grey mask
Such a daunting task
I talked to the
Chalk outline on the floor
Asking her to give
Just one more
I felt like a murdered soul
Four years in the wandering
God knows
I was tired
Giving it all away
For a better day
Sleeping my life away
Love yourself
The words screaming in me
And all I saw was the ugly
I tore at her relentlessly
The reflection staring back at me
I just couldn't see

Sweet girls
Get hurt with
The rocks that life hurls
So I became bitter
But I was damn good
At hiding that litter
The reflection still smiling
And I wondered why

Four years in the wandering
I let it go
The baggage much too heavy
The dam was going to break
That weak levy
No matter what I did
Or didn't do
So why fight
Bring on the night
Heavy sighs
Tired eyes
Taking one last look
Seeing an apparition of a
Babbling brook
Of times I carelessly
Fished the bubbling creek
I thought I lost her
But she was there all along
Waiting in the reflection
Waiting for me to see
The woman I've become
And finally love the
Girl with the
Daisy chain

Hand to glass
Watching the reflection
Lose her crass
I traced her outline
It's mine
And I finally love her.