This Moment

     I sit here now - in my moment.  Four years.  It seemed like a long time while I was in the middle of it.  Now?  It doesn't seem so long.  I feel the need to share this moment with you.  I came so close so many times to losing myself and now I found me.  My ex-husband is slowly taking his leave.  He skipped out on a chance to see his son on his chosen Saturday.  I had thought it would make my son sad.  My son did not think anything except where he and I were going to go that day.  He is so resilient and so full of faith - it's contagious.  We celebrated our new journey.  It's new and it still needs details ironing out but it was so exhilarating for both of us.  I put it all in God's Hands.  No more ill-will or feelings of frustration and anxiety.  No more feeling like I need to isolate myself.  I cannot help but feel a rush of excitement. 

     I will never understand why some people would think to turn their back on pure beauty; such as my son.  Then again, I never want to understand that reasoning.  My son and I will simply turn our face to the sun and walk on.  My son will hopefully never get the chance to see the worst of his dad.  I say 'hopefully' because nothing is official.  It's just the wind whispering peace into my soul.  All the heartache.  The nights staying up until the sun rose in her beautiful sky and trying to make it through a day on sheer exhaustion.  All the times I cried and screamed.  The times I chose to stay silent.  It was all worth it.  Feeling this moment; it was worth it.