The Elder Warrior Consulting with Her Daughter

My mother continues to astound me in so many ways.  Her short-term memory is shorter than a list to a 5-n-dime store but hurt her babies, she'll make war.  This is a woman who lost her husband to an unexpected death and then gets a call from her daughter telling her in no uncertain terms she and her newborn baby are leaving a narcissistic abuser and "Pick me up right away."  A woman diagnosed with Parkinson's who shouldn't even have been driving in the first place.  But hot damn.  There she was in the dead of night like a beacon of light.  Fast forward to the present, three years into this ridiculous battle, and she carries her tomahawk; swinging it proudly.  I used to nearly bite my own tongue listening to her listening to my abusive ex; giving him hugs, no less.  Now I see a whole new side.  Sure she smiles politely.  And mutters some ineligible sarcastic comment referring to him under her breath.  He leaned in today and nearly shouted in his overbearing tone "What was that? Did you say something?"  She smiled sweetly "You better watch yourself.  You're in my house and she's my daughter." 

The visits have been ending earlier and earlier.  Mostly because Tot asks to come back home.  My mother danced and sang and did her she-warrior dance "We're coming to the end of this.  You know that, right?  He doesn't know how to entertain or bond with his own son."  She sat down on her throne in the living room and pointed her finger at me.  Laughing.  Telling me to keep doing whatever it is I'm doing because "quite frankly.  It's working."  What I'm doing is ignoring the mind games and emotional warfare.  I've learned no comment is far better than any screaming match against someone who wants nothing more than to see me lose control.  I've learned that smiling to someone who only wants to see tears or anger is a far better and more healing response. 

So tonight, as Tot finally went to bed at a reasonable time, mother and I discussed the very near future.  I personally savored this sweet moment of clarity.  She'll say the same things over and over again and "I love you.  I'm so proud of you" is among my personal favorites.